I just made out with a guy for $7.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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