i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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