Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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