I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Randomize