Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
BRING THE BAGELS
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
