somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
