all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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