She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
