it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
