cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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