nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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