before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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