my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
