I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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