Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
