put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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