and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
