listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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