Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
