I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
