Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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