one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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