Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
