be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We are two peas in an std pod
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
