i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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