he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
