Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize