her vagine was all disorganized.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
