That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
