i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
