the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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