$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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