one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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