Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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