Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Alive.
So much puke
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize