SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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