And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
