i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
