Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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