There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
