Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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