Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
