:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
