the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am spending my child support on dildos
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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