Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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