Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
