Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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