That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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