Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
