Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
