so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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