so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize