ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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