the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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