I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize