If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
