I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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