he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
