i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
