Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We had to coat check the pizza.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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